Why Snakes Suck: A Mongoose’s Perspective

Hello there! My name is Terry, and as you may have guessed, I am not a fan of snakes. In fact, I hate them. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against most living creatures, but there’s just something about snakes that rubs me the wrong way.

  1. They’re venomous: This one is a no-brainer. Snakes are known for their venom, which they use to kill their prey. And while they may not always use it on humans, it’s still a dangerous and potentially deadly trait for other animals.
  2. They’re sneaky: Snakes are known for their stealthy movements and ability to blend in with their surroundings. This makes them hard to spot and can lead to some dangerous and potentially deadly encounters.
  3. They’re slimy: There’s something about the slimy texture of snakes that grosses me out.
  4. They’re often associated with danger: In many cultures, snakes are seen as symbols of danger or evil. This doesn’t do much to endear them to potential snake enthusiasts.
  5. They eat my friends: As a mongoose, I have a natural instinct to hunt and kill snakes. This is because in some parts of the world, snakes are a major threat to small animals like rodents, which are a staple of my diet.
  6. They can be aggressive: While not all snakes are aggressive, some species can be quite territorial and will attack if they feel threatened.
  7. They have no legs: I don’t know about you, but the lack of legs just seems unnatural to me. How do they even get around?
  8. They have weird eyes: Snakes have eyes that are always open and always looking. It’s kind of creepy.
  9. They’re cold-blooded: Snakes are ectothermic, which means they rely on external sources of heat to regulate their body temperature. This seems unnatural to me, a hot-blooded mammal.

So there you have it, the top reasons why I, Terry, hate snakes. I hope you can understand where I’m coming from. Snakes may be your personal cup of tea, but for me, they’re not worth the hassle.